And when I say “shit” I mean “cancer”. Is it me or everyone doing it? I contemplate this every day. Like, is it because I had cancer that I tend to find out everyone else is being diagnosed or going through treatment or just died from that mean mean monster? Is it? Or, is everyone actually getting cancer these days? When I find out someone hasn’t had cancer and they are half way through their life I’m a bit surprised. That’s fucked up!! Why do I think like that??
This week has been cancer in my face week. And that’s cool and all but when someone has a cancer that actually kills, that is not cool. In my selfish sort of way I feel like this pioneer that can give a new cancerite advice and show them how fine they can be after a while. But some can’t. Some one up me with a diagnosis of terminal cancer. Oof. That makes my heart sink. When you get an expiration date stamped on your forehead, it becomes a whole other ball game. After working a day with a woman my age who had cancer at 22, and comparing stories with the boss at Iridio, Mike LaRoche, who is chemo bald as we speak, our friend Jerry stopped by after a good round of brain surgery to inform us of his surprising diagnosis. He was working as the set builder at Iridio until he went in for sinus surgery only to find out he had tumors in his brain. And they are killing him quickly. What? This baffles me. And since there were no symptoms I wonder how many other people have tumors that are killing them. He starts chemo next week and then we party with him on June 4th. He’s so strong and laughing and still having his Jerry sense of humor.
Some days I forget I ever went through all that I did. I never thought I’d say that. Some days friends say “I can’t believe you did that, Amaren. You are so strong” and I think eh, it was no big deal. I’ve denounced the cancer and treatment to a walk in the park. And it’s so not.